Since Friday I have been on an emotional downward spiral of fear, including one very awful dream about my existing kids being ripped away from me and not being able to protect them. (sigh.)
This situation is bringing out the worrying mother in me and I have been kind of down. I just want everything to be okay, you know?
In other trains of thought, even as I typed the above, I felt a calm and wonderful reassurance that in every sentence I typed "we". Matty-cat is the ideal husband for me and the perfect father for our kids. In my heart, worrying aside, I know things really WILL be okay..if for no other reason than I have an eternal companion who is my rock and who will weather any storm we come to (and likely be the one firmly holding the umbrella while I cower underneath).
Under the influence of my own horribly abusive father and in the subsequent train of thought that all men were inherently scummy, Matt Ahern came into my life and proved me wrong. And I will always be grateful that I was able to trick such an amazing man into falling in love with me.
I know we can make it through this with God's help. Hopefully this coming week I will be able to keep those thoughts more in the forefront of my mind and let the worrying fade away.
3 comments:
You didn't trick anybody. You're wonderful, and he knew it. You two are quite a pair. Such a great dad for your kids, and sweet husband to you. Happy Father's Day, yo!
love this Emilie... so happy you have matt.
the last paragraph is so true. hugs!
Emilie, you made me cry. You ARE going to be fine, your family will be fine, and you'll grow closer together because of this. You are blessed and you recognize it. You are strong because of your faith. I am so glad to see you approaching this difficult situation with faith and hope and confidence in your husband. It's so much easier to go through trials with a positive outlook. You'll remain in our prayers!
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